Testimony

“I think you might be a genius.

I was thinking about you today and the unexpected transformation that I am going through. What you are doing is about so much more than clothes. At least for me it is. It felt important to get my feelings down on paper.

I am wearing my new Brancusi jeans, and as I walk around my Brooklyn neighborhood, I notice that I feel distinctly different that I did the day before. My mood somehow feels lighter, the smile on my face larger, and my outlook on the day even more optimistic than usual. Could a pair of jeans really be igniting this change? The answer I realize is no; it’s much deeper than that. As I contemplate where this change in attitude has sprouted from, I know that I am finally beginning to experience the integration of what it means to dress for myself.

For so many years, without realizing it, I have been dressing for others, as it started early in my childhood. Having a strong desire to feel like I belonged to my family, I dressed in a way to fit into what I assumed what my parents thought was perfect. As I got older, this idea of dressing to be accepted unconsciously became a way of being as I began applying it to my friends and boyfriends as a strategy to be loved and fit in. However, I did not realize that all this fitting in had a cost. It meant that I no longer belonged to myself. Denying myself and trying to fit into a model caused me to lose confidence, feel uncomfortable in my skin, and cause me to question who I was. As I write these words, it almost feels crazy and, at the same time, makes sense. As Brene Brown says, “Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”

I’ve told myself for years that I want my wardrobe to serve as a self-portrait because authenticity and integrity are fundamental values. And yet I had no idea how to, so I looked for answers by following other people’s rules about how to dress for my body shape. I took quizzes, read books, and followed fashion icons and influences for answers only to continuously revert to my old patterns, habits, and behaviors for shopping and dressing. Now having found clothing that feels as if it reflects how I feel on the inside, I have a renewed sense of ease, confidence, and motivation to create. This is not what I expected to happen due to changing my perspective on the clothes that I put on my body. It feels like a tremendously loving and healing act, like I am proudly planting a flag in the ground that says, ‘this is who I am.’”

Thank you, Denise, for helping me transform my closet, perspective, and life.”

- Ginna Christensen